almost

Never enough time to say what you want to say. Lips locked and head turned away.

Drill life is all review revue review revue review revue
Testing's over, finallllly, too easy. [:
love love love being rested.

butterfly wings help me fly(: havent felt like this in a while. days are good , nights get better.

gonna see my old friends and family this weekend, for matt's birthdayy !
missed them.

xoxocynthia

what a day today,
started off with the power gone , couldn't blowdry my hair, and all the lights turned off. the weather was hot and toasty.. went to the library afterschool to return books w/ sandra donna john bianca martin .. other people were there like jeffrey anne lourdes martin m amberly etcetc. i was giving therapy sessions and we got 'too loud' so we left after that. and i tripped up the stairs, fml. definitely "bella" ;] umm, went to pinkberry, ate a pretzel, and got my mother's day gift ! then off to guitar, which was fun as usual.

and i finished my homework, so i guess i'll write my mom's card
XOXOCYNTHIA

dreams

LATELY, i am lost. i am found. i am happy. i am tired. i am mistaken. i am rushed. i am confused. i am irritated. i am amazed. i am myself.

RECENTLY, i have been busy. i have been dancing. i have been slacking. i have been talking. i have been laughing. i have been thinking. i have been wondering. i have been hoping. i have been dreaming..

CURRENTLY, i feel satisfied. i feel full. i feel complicated. i feel hot. i feel strange. i feel excited. i feel scared. i feel tempted. i feel stupid. i feel grateful. i feel alive.

SUMMARY OF MY LIFE AS OF NOW.

miss me?

sorry ive been in the dance room.
JK but not really.
practice is crazy this week, preppin for nationals ! i am so excited ! roomies w/ yvonne again<3 today was a great practice , did the routine many times, cleaned, and learned some changes. all i hear in my head is "sharp! set! stretch! splits!" mmm, & english is stressing me out, i have no idea what i'm doing in that class. tomorrow will be a long day, and thursday leaving for anaheim. my sister and her friends have taken over my house, but it's nice to have them here :) happy birthday to patrick jayoma ! and one tree hill yesterday was intense, that's true love right there <3

xoxo cynthia

forever

on the dance floor .. (; ok amazingly enough i'm in a better mood today. i realize it's up to myself to raise my own spirits lol. ummmm , practice today was not a happy one though , fake smiles all around. i brought a blanket to school (reppin ucla) and i wish i could just fall asleep on it. webcammed w/ my bestie last night, it was fun! <3 he thinks he's stronger than me. ahh can't wait till MAYY, like that will make everything better. i love love stories i love cute things i love party dresses i love frozen yogurt i love rollercoasters i love rainbows i love karoake i love fairy wings i love sparkly things i love laughter i love clumsy people i love friends i love waterfalls i love looking at the stars i love candy i love dreaming .. i could go on forever.can't forget about all this good stuff!


edit; why is it when i think of you i only remember the good times, and i reminisce, but when i talk to you i remember what a dick you are!

had taco azteca in espanol todayyy(:
xoxo cynthia

choices

i hate decision-making. i thought about my future and i have no idea what direction i'm headed. also, after high school and college, it's just work. life seems so repetitive. i guess the little special moments add to life's excitement. i wish frustration and stupidity didn't exist. and broken hearts. my mind has a million things racing through, like what should i be doing? what am i doing wrong? or better, what am i doing right? why am i here? when do we ever know if it's worth it?

i need to try harder in school, i'm positive that i'm only living up to half my potential. the attitudes around me are starting to affect me. i find myself complaining more than i ever did. i need to rise above that.

needs wants wishes adjfkalsdjl. well, i had an ice cream cone today . and i'm learning 'happy ending' on the guitar. my teacher is hilarious. for that hour, i'm relaxed and having fun and i miss that feeling! music is so amazing. my sister is coming on sunday! i won't be the only child anymore, yay

xoxocynthia

too cool

for school tmro morniiiiin! late start ; gonna go at 10:30 hell yes (; took my benchmark today, my proposed class was "time management" ahah. practice afterschool. i'm really hungry right now! i have no homework ! happy birthday juno <3 i hate having the same routine, i need someone to mix it upppppppp!


1. I miss you we should talk more.. seriously can't let this fade ok? ily.
2. Just let it go.
3. We need to get down to business.. can't waste time.
4. You're so amazing.. I admire you.
5. I don't want to watch you get hurt again.

xoxo cynthia

famous

my time to shine, you knoo ? ;) currently listening to "hometown glory" adele. & learning how to play my blog song (three cheers for five years -mayday parade) on the guitar. had a lesson today.
yesterday went to country club for family portrait , then victoria gardens for lunch and shopping! ate alligator ;) and i suck at shooting guns. it was "birthday" shopping, since i used giftcards and birthday money$$ at urban outfitters, forever 21 , anchorblue, american eagle, ulta, reflections. had so much fun shopping, but i felt spoiled for that day X: anyways NEWS! my cat trixie (who i always thought was a girl) is a boy! my stepdad took her -- i mean him -- to the vet and he said she's a he! wowowowow. blew my mind. k, text me bzs (; ONE TREE HILL TONIGHT !

xoxo cynthia!

spring

i really love flowers, theyre so pretty<3 a recap of my day.. no competition! just practice from 8-6, matched with yvonne kinda on purpose with the eyeliner but not the gray sweatshirt and kneesocks! crazy deja vu or something. also kinda matched with fiona! who by the way made me cry like twice in the last few days .. what a monster right? :) went to eagle rock at lunch and it was good.. during practice we did rolls and headstands and fan kicks. realllly funny. mm, had japanese food and pinkberry afterwards, and i just took a shower ! i feel so refreshed!

im cravin some hometown loviiin, you kno? KIT

xoxocynthia :)

like ice

something you may not know about me.. i can easily admit i'm wrong, but in the back of my head i still think i'm kinda right. however, most recently, there's been about two times where i realized i made some major mistakes. today i acknowledged one, and the other one from winter break... (ok so that was a HUGE mistake) . and i still want to apologize for whatever hurt feelings, whatever broken hearts, whatever miscommunication that happened because of what i did or didn't do.
oratorical today, freshmen won nothing, sadly. my friday nights are just practice and resting this month. i miss cherish sleepovers.. i don't have time to do stuff like that anymore but i really miss it! and them. maybe a girls movie night will finally happen soon though;)

xoxo cynthia

if i fell

i'm practicing guitar right noww... haven't touched it in days. today was soso. oratorical practice was annoying. afterschool was fun though me and donna ate and shopped. finally home. i wish i could sleep forever seriously.. i really need to catch up on my zzzz's .. ahah. i miss talking to my bff . going to do that soon . and i need to call my little sister i miss that girl!

xoxo cynthia

edit; i want to explain.. this is all turning into some complicated mess. wish the world would get along. love you guys truly.

seriously?

the minute i think i got it all under control.. wow it's like i can't ever escape.. but i want to. the more i hear that name the more i want to shoot myself (not literally). these days it is so cold outside.. good news is that i'm getting better :) however, today was not a good day, the end.

fortune

my fortune cookie reads: "if you continually give, you will continually have" .. so true in the end. as each year passes i find myself evaluating who i am, and who i'm not. time really flies by quickly; i'm in highschool already? wasn't it just yesterday where i was scared about going to junior high. i'm noticing my progress in reaching my goals, and seeing where i'm falling short. sometimes i feel like giving up hope but that's not an option. past ghosts seem to be haunting my mind lately.. it's been bugging me. go away. today was okay, nothing special. i'm addicted to halls! i can't wait till may, i'll feel free! gotta get out of this place once in awhile :)

xoxo cynthia

ps i love you

wishes

honestly, i don't know what to wish for anymore. when i'm under a tunnel or blowing out birthday candles.. the most specific i can get is "i wish to be happy" well , i guess that's what everyone wants anyways ? k , so yesterday was my birthday and it was a very good one. it began with presents $$ balloons and cupcakes! i went to santa monica w/ the girls .. i love the beach. i didn't realize how much i miss it. the pier and the promenade were full of interesting people... they are so talented. we had pf changs, yumm. the guy at the front was so cute<3 then went home and had ice cream cake mah favorite . lol , then we just talked in bed and made stupid videos and finally they left at like eleven or something. today i went to school, felt sick when i woke up but didn't want to miss practice. since it was canceled and i felt worse i just called my mom to pick me up. lol, we're all sickkkk , all the freshman girls. i hate being sick though, because i have no energy..

dear boy, i miss you. sucks.
xoxocynthia
&i want to make a difference somehow.

gone

i cried in spanish... because of an awful headache and stress and who knows what else. maybe just because i need to just break down for a second. no more tears, unless tears of happiness. i promised myself this year i'd turn things around and i guess it's successful. last year's mistakes are over, seriously. things can't be erased, but they can be covered up in black sharpie or something. today's show was alright, we were talking to jerusalem while selling shirts and makeup boxes and fuggs. funny stuff! i miss a lot of people<3333333333

xoxocynthia

good enough

ay chico . cliche to say this but boys-- can't live with them, can't live without them ;)
i'm happy because i made small mil alt, and im really determined to do it :) can't let this slip awayyy. other drill related events.. across the universe tmro night passing out programs? friday practice and saturday comp at west! other notes.. today had a fun time with yvonne, eating and discovering PNK "omg! pink tweezers!" love this girl. i have a lot to do from now till bedtime, i should stop wasting time because i always do. oh , i bought creme savers today, i'm going to go eat like twenty.

xoxo cynthia !

old news

homesick today.. lost my voice, sore throat, awful headache. couldn't even sleep ! lol. i actually wanted to go to school, surprisingly. i sometimes wonder how i came to have such a positive outlook on things.. so much negativity surrounds me but i still see the sunshine. i need to slow down, take a deep breath, and refresh. what do i want? it's nice to look back, but looking forward is even better. it's time to make things happen, not wait for them to happen. the perspective i have on life right now is very bright.

xoxocynthia

merry march

my birthday month ! yesssss ;] well, i'm pretty happpppy at the moment, but what a weekend! not a minute to spare except maybe now. saturday , practice was long and tiring. then went to sandra's to get ready w/ yvonne donna sandra. they wanted to watch "two girls one cup" but we couldn't find it anymore! and we figured out the love story of the "chasing pavements" music video... so cute but sad. winter formal was pretty bomb, dancing is always fun. me and donna used our "hookup" to get free drinks, ahah saved us $3 each ! under the table stuff. took lots of pictures for memories, i'm sure i'm going to look back on this dance and laugh... afterwards went to in n out , then to sleeeeep. woke up, got ready for comp at fountain valley, but we ended up not competing. bus ride there and back was fun with my bus buddies though.. our freaking hair! even if the big picture of things wasn't great, the you-had-to-be-there-moments were unforgettable. "you know what?" "sorry that...." "i like long walks on the beach.."

i think i'm going to call matttt now.....
lotsa loveeee guys<3
xoxo cynthia

spinning in circles

i never remember to "think" before i act. i started writing this letter to my best friend today.. "i feel lost.." where did all my newfound independence and confidence go? i better find it fast before i revert back to past habits. on a brighter note, i feel comfortable with my surroundings. (finally) i know who i trust and who i can go to. i catch myself being silly and carefree.. and it feels great. instead of going to cue (next time fiona!) i went to sandra's house and it was fun. they picked out dresses to wear for winter formal. & eyebrows ! ;)hmm we set formations today for JV large, i'm crossing my fingers things will go smoothly and practice tomorrow will be productive.
i've learned that i come off as too nice, giving people the wrong idea.. i'm not gonna change who i am but maybe i should be more aware of what's going on around me. well, peacee and love . guitar today was fun, i made my teacher proud!

xoxo cynthia
PS. i love the heels i'm wearing this saturday! :)